The Cold Sun
by Shallow Sleep
Summary: Songfic, one-shot. Relena has to deal with the consequences of the war... 1x2, don't read if you don't like shounen-ai.


**The Cold Sun**

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Dir en grey so don't try to sue me. Also, I haven't translated the song so please don't bite my head off! It's taken from bounce.to/centigrade 

Slight shounen-ai here, so if you don't like it, don't read it. And yes, I know Relena's a bit OOC here. Well, duh, she's supposed to be! :P 

This is my first published Gundam Wing-fic ever so please be nice to me. ^^   
  
  
// _My heart was like it burst into flame, feeling the ring of the bell  
I wanted to stay watching that phone which never rang_ // 

It's been two years since the war finally came to its end. Many things have changed now. But not quite everything. 

// _When I turn the street corner, all of a sudden I remember  
The shades of midsummer, the movie we often watched together and those days_ // 

When did it really begin? In the middle of the war, I suppose. Two lonely soldiers trying to escape the terrors of their past. They met each other and became friends. Of course I accepted it. After all, they were only friends. 

Was I really so naïve? Was I the only one who didn't notice the deep feelings they shared? 

// _The midsummer sun, the season that coincides with my memories  
Taken away by the wind, never to reach you again_ // 

I can still remember how upset and angry I was when I found out that they were in love. I couldn't accept it. I thought myself as the one for the Perfect Soldier, Heero Yuy. 

But he showed me just how wrong I was. 

// _I look at you crying, just watching you as if its second nature  
Unable to do anything_ // 

"I don't love you, Relena. It's Duo who I love." 

"But, Heero! You can't be serious! We're meant to be together!" 

"Is it really so? Then why am I so disgusted with the idea of us as an item?" 

"Heero…" 

"I have never loved you. You have made the whole thing in your mind and convinced to yourself it's true until you finally began to believe it." 

// _You're wearing a scent I don't recognize, is that for his sake?  
You pretend not to notice me there_ // 

It felt like a hard slap to my face. 

But of course it was true. 

I had really believed he loved me and that day when he said it out loud, he smashed down all my dreams. 

That day, I wanted to end my life. 

// _Already five years have come and gone, are you happy with him?  
Running into each other in Teramachi, for some reason my heart aches..._ // 

I haven't spoke anything to them for four months now. It's too painful. 

One day, as I was returning from a long and hard conference, I saw them both walking along a street. Heero had his arm wrapped around Duo's shoulders and he was smiling a real smile. 

I felt so miserable, but I knew I couldn't make Heero happy as he was now. With Duo...he had happiness. 

And I would be such a bitch if I'd get between them and claim Heero as my own. No, I could never do that. Maybe few years before, when the war was still darkening our future, but not anymore. I had matured and I knew it would tear them apart if they were ever separated. 

And now I had finally made a decision. 

// _The midsummer sun, the season that coincides with my memory  
Taken away by the wind, never again to reach you_ // 

I entered the Preventer's office, slightly afraid of what I would see. 

Duo was sitting on Heero's lap and they were looking at some reports, too engrossed with them to notice me. 

"Ahem." 

Duo started and nearly fell from Heero's lap but Heero caught him at the last moment. The sight of him holding the American securely in his arms made me even now a bit jealous but I had made my decision and I would not flee. 

"Good afternoon, Heero and Duo." 

"Hn", came Heero's reply and Duo only nodded. 

I smiled slightly. "Duo, could I have a word with you?" 

Duo hesitated and looked at Heero who shrugged. He stood up slowly and followed me to the hallway. 

"Yeah?" he asked impatiently as we stopped, one eyebrow raised. 

I lowered my head and let my eyes drop to the floor. I couldn't look at him right now. 

"I suppose you love him very much?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly. 

Duo stirred uncomfortably. "Heero? Uh, yeah, I do love him a lot…" 

"And I suppose he loves you as much as you love him?" 

"Well…yeah, he loves me. Why do you ask?" 

// _The cold sun, changes to a new color  
I can't hide my scars, colored in a new season_ // 

I let a small sigh escape through my lips. 

"I can't deny the fact that I still love Heero. However, now that I've seen you two together, I have realised that I could never be in your place. Therefore, I have decided to give up on him." 

I raised my head and saw Duo's unbelieving look on his face. 

"Uh…are you sure about this, Relena? I mean…you have nothing against…me and Heero…" 

I shook my head slowly. "No", I said softly. "You two are perfect for each other. But, Duo -" I took Duo's hand to mine and held it lightly, "- please take good care of Heero. Be always there when he needs you. Don't ever let him down, promise me that." 

Duo smiled and squeezed my hand gently. "I promise. Thank you." 

He let my hand go and I turned to leave. "One more thing, Duo." 

"Yeah?" 

"Please don't tell Heero about this." 

"Don't worry, I won't say anything about this." 

I nodded, my back still facing the American. "Thank you", I whispered. And with that, I stepped out of their life. 

I still have my memories. 

// _Hurting, hurting each other, people hide their wounds but  
I'll try to get over mine, so they become a pretty flower  
Raina  
The important things are "_____", my memories..._ //   
  
  
The Japanese lyrics are here: 

yakizuku youna kokoro ga suzu no ne wo kanjiteru  
naranai denwa wo mitsumete itakatta 

machikado wo magaru to sugu futari de yoku mita eigo wo  
manatsu no iro to tomo ni omoidasu yo ano koro wo 

manatsu no taiyou omoi wo kasaneta kisetsu  
kaze ni nagasareta kimi ni wa nido to todokazu 

nakidashita kimi wo mite atarimae no koto no you ni  
tada kimi wo mitsume nani mo dekinakute 

shiranai kaori ga suru sore wa yatsu no tame na no kai?  
boku ni wa kizukarenai you ni shiteta kimi wa mou 

gonen no tsukihi ga sugi yatsu to kimi wa shiawase kai?  
teramachi de guuzen ai naze ka kokoro ga itakute 

manatsu no taiyou omoi wo kasaneta kisetsu  
kaze ni nagasareta kimi ni wa nido to todokazu 

tsumetai taiyou atarashii iro ni kaete  
kizuato wo kakusazu atarashii kisetsu ni some 

kizutsukerarete kizutsuke atte hito wa kizu wo kakusu kedo  
jibunjishin wo koete miseru yo kizu wa kireina hana ni naru  
rai ei  
taisetsuna mono wa "____" omoide wa   
  
Dir en grey: Taiyou no Ao/Jade of the Sun   
Lyrics: Kyo   
Music: Kaoru   
  
  
  



End file.
